What Children Know....part 2

A lot can be learned from those that are still true and truthful…no matter what size they are.

A wise Turkish teacher asked me once: “What is the single most important thing in life?”

I thought for a bit and then answered  “Love.”  

He fell silent.   I felt like I had missed the mark…

Finally I asked him what his answer was.   Without hesitation he said  “Truth.”

I was taken aback… His answer seemed stark and uncompromising.

Our culture claims to value love above all else.

But the more I thought about it, the more important and accurate it seemed.

That single word began to re-orient my thinking…

Truth is the foundation for everything.

Where truth and love are concerned, without truth we have nothing…no possibility of real love. 

Children are still true…  Therefore we have much to learn from them...some things to teach,
but much to learn.

In fact, in some cultures, parents see children as full-fledged souls who have insight
for those who are willing to learn. 
A Taoist teacher shared the following observations with me…

Each child that is born into a family reflects the state of the parent's relationship
at the time of their conception.  
Ever wonder why some children within a family are so similar, while others are so different?

Furthermore, they see that child’s soul as being a somewhat older soul than the parents…
slightly wiser and more evolved.

They come in to teach…as well as to learn.

If you stop to think about it…who DOESN”T remember thinking, even KNOWING, that they were wiser
than their parents in many respects?!

The question is “How did we know these things?”  Perhaps  the ancients were right... 
Perhaps we are experienced souls continuing an everlasting journey.
Some traditional societies regard their children as being recently arrived from life between lives.
They have not forgotten the higher realms altogether as people are prone to do after some time.

Imagine what it would be like if parents were willing to hear and to learn from their children.

What if we are missing the better half of the equation by turning a blind eye to what they have to teach us?

 

From the child’s vantage point…and we were all children once…what did WE know?

What did we FEEL?  How was our knowing shoved aside?  Dismissed. Gone unnoticed. Contradicted? 
Mocked.  Punished, in some cases?
 

It’s much easier to imagine that a child knows nothing and that their opinions do not matter. 
Society convinces us that it is so.  It becomes much easier to lord it over them and to behave
callously toward them.  “I am the parent!  You are the child!  You’ll do as I say…or else! 
Or even to go so far as to say "Do as I say...not as I do!”

Now obviously, children need some assistance in the physical realm of things as they mature
to the point where they can take things up on their own. 
But internally, they are far more experienced and equipped than we give them credit for. 
Admittedly, this can be a little confusing on the surface…

The problem for the child is that they DO know many things. Who they are, in part, what they want
or don't want.  
But after living in a society that constantly tells them that they know nothing…
that they are blank slates…they begin to falter.
They begin to lose touch with their original knowing and eventually concede defeat. 
Finally they go on to believe it about themselves.  They acquire the falsehood.

The light inside begins to dim.  They slowly succumb to the ‘Authorities’ ie: the ‘Big People’…
those that hold power and that punish when they don’t have their way.

Eventually the child’s knowing is eclipsed.  Their own light is disregarded and they begin to doubt
and forget and set aside all the brilliance, the heart and the sense of purpose they came in with.
The knowing never goes away, but it lies buried like an ancient city under the gritty and relentless sands of time and culture.
More...Digging for Truth

 

WHAT CHILDREN KNOW ... part 1

In our western culture, it is assumed that children are blank slates…knowing nothing…

needing to be taught everything. 

This belief is unquestionably accepted.  It has been that way forever in our minds. 
Children must be taught how to think, speak and act.  The parents take credit for everything. 
Credit and blame…
On the other hand, some parents secretly wonder about these little persons they have given
seed and birth to…
Why they are so different in temperament, style, giftedness, ambitions…
Why they are so hard to control, tame, imprint…


For instance, more and more children are labeled ‘hyperactive’
or  ‘autistic’…preferring not to communicate and connect with their parents.
Many of these children are busy in an inner world of their own. 
They create tough boundaries.
And what happens?  Parents, who only recognize their mundane reality, become worried.
‘There must be something wrong with my child.  They’re not Normal!’  
THEY expect and want to be the center of that child’s attention.
‘That’s the way it’s SUPPOSED to be!!’, they reason.
If they are not that center of attention, a struggle of wills follows.


Few adults stop to think that something more important might be going on with the child.
The over culture is quick to condemn all behavior that lies outside a narrow band
of expected responses.
Anything outside the norm is labeled as defective, an illness, something to treat, to eradicate.  
If the child cannot or will not be easily molded into the image of the dominant or dominating parent, they will be urged, spanked, manipulated, bullied and/or medicated into submission with no regard
for who and what they are or for their innate sense of what is right for them.

In our heavy-handed way we continue to duplicate the mistakes of our parents, grandparents and culture.

These remarks concern every child, not just those burdened with these awful labels.
When too much has been laid on the child it will find ways to conform. 

The child’s true nature and identity may go into hiding for survival’s sake. 

A persona or false personality may develop.  In fact, many personas or masks will be created along life’s way.  One for mommy, another for daddy, one for the mean big brother or sister.  As time goes on, various masks are fashioned...for our little friends as we learn to “fit in”, personas for our teachers, pastors, first loves, spouses and employers  


There will come a time, however, when the young person cannot stand the pressure of holding its identity in a prison.  Children are by nature truthful about themselves, their feelings, their bodies,
their likes and dislikes, their pain, panic, joy, love, distrust or trust.  In short, they are authentic. 
They are true.